updates...

B4 anything.... somebody out dere whu intrude my privacy pls stop putting my blog on ur blog for advertisment... it seems u r so scared to lose ur gf.... so TREAT her better....... an advise for u... be more humble... a butch so fucking girly... or maybe you r not a butch.. i dun't noe n i dun care... if u hv e time to paste my blog on ur blog... spare more time showing care n concern to ur precious gf....

now for updates..... let me hv some silent and curse the fucking humans on earth....... my life changes again.... single and not available.... y? guess u guys tink i am waiting for a lost love again? hahaha... u guys r outdat-ed then, i hv mov-ed on. being lucky or unlucky i dun noe... but i knew i surely met an bastard... i nv seen sum1 so lifeless, so negatives, so bossy..... (tis phrase i noe sounds like describing my ex.. but no u r wrong, shhh.. jus someone out dere la dun tink so much)i am in a transmit session... enjoying my single but not available life.... see hw long tis will last..... Every year there will be big changes in my life, families, relationship and work... i fucking jus want to lead a normal life w sum1 i loved... tt diff? is showing care and concern so diff?? is acting cool so cool? is giving empty promises so funny? (i promise u are the most person i dun want to be with, but y am i still into u.. i fucking dun noe....) i used to chat with my frens about wat kind of person i would wish to be with, as years goes by, the wishes tend to be more practical, but it seems like all the "dun wish" came all in a person. well okok.. i am stupid and lame but dere is pple whu appreciates me alright. if u fucking dun like me, dun hold on. i am fucking not ur toy. Here is a words for all my frens, be u a 'p' or a 'b', womans are always precious diamonds. not worthless crystals, treasure whuever u r with, life is fucking short. dun regrets wat u had done... no matter wat happens, in debts or trouble, always rem, those who will care for u sincerely r few so treaSure then, god dun always send guardian angel down. And its not wise to treat pple as a joke to entertain urself as u r treating urself as a laugh out joke without noticing.

OKAY! now! Let me make a wish for this belated new- year 2010

- i wish to earn more money (oh shit. tt means more ot for me) (sob)
-i die also tking my driving lessons b4 sep(jus b4 my FTT fucking expire)
-i gotten save all my ot money (ok... i will try)
-i wanna shop once a week
-i wanna love my mum n bro more
-i wanna my mum and my little baby bro to stop nagging at me! tks ar.. b4 i shut my room door
-i wanna tk control of my life and make it a memorable time for me when i grow old
-i wanna go holiday w my beloved
-i wanna give it a last try to improve sum relationship (dun get me wrong again, not my ex ok!)
-i wanna give myself sumtime to do e above pointer b4 i make a new decision.
-i wanna refurnish my bedroom (although i kind of cant bear w e old ones, but mum say they shld go aft so many years) (i promise not to cry when i abandon them)
-i wanna most importantly make myself a happy go lucky girl again. STOP ALL MY FUCKING BAD MEMORIES AND FUCKiNG EMOS FEELING (i want myself BACK!!)

LETS SEE HOW MANY WISHES COME TRUE THIS YEAR..... THIS IS SO EXCITING!

Shiver...

I shiver at the thought of you... when are you for real... when are u nt? should we continue as planned? if you fucking love her so much then go and beg her bk... u said u will forget abt her.. but still continue to get her info.. seeing her so happy breaks ur heart? if u dont appreciate, there will be pple appreciate... no wonder all ur relationships failed.... because of ur selfish, egocentric, bad tempered character.... Final say: i am nt ur spare tyre and if u continue ..... bye bye to u.... mayb i shld nt let u come bk to interupt all the good memories i had for you..... ASSSSSS hOLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE............... ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.............................. who do u think you are... I am also a daughter of a mother.....!!!!!

So sweet...

Its was a boring day, so Bb and me decided to go bugis for a walk.. We bought two bags, 1 sandal(mine) and Bb bought a BRAUN BUFFEL wallet... finally she got it.. and was so damn happy.. haha... we went mos burger for dinner and ADMIRE our new stuff... lalala and chatted for abt 2 hrs before we head home... well.. Bb i had not give you our first month anniversary presents so tt wallet would be the one... hehe... Bb darling.. every little thing counts in a relationship so u had better stop thinking tt everything is not important except ur $$$$ hor...

MCDONALDS on a early morning... We was on the way to bedok that day... then I was super moody, Bb was super Bad mood.... Maybe becos its really damn early... Hum hum.... when we ordered our food at e counter.. their service was so damn slow... Bb throw her temper and i ask her to find a place first ( at least give her sumthing to do) (haha) then I waited for another 5 mins b4 I lose mt temper also... the staff forgotten abt ME.... haiz... nvm.. But I was to moody to eat or shld i Say EAT... B ask me to feed her and i was reluctant then we both push here and dere... finally i give in.. I feed her and make an effort to feed her two pc of pancake (cause i really not in e mood to eat) , finally we manage to finish our breakfast... Not wanting to move aft eating, we sat dere staring at each other... Bb started playing wif her empty plate and drew some things on it... Its so fun doing the drawing.. although it cant be kept but at least I had a memory of it.. hee..

BAby'S Lost

Losing her has become part of your life's memories... I apologise for landing you on all this craps.... But of cos there are times where you enjoy being wiF her... Before we are back together, the moment I imagine her coming bk, i shiver at the thought.. do you noe y? jus becos i Knew her too well and upside down.. But Fate jus like to have some fun wif us..

Tt Day, Bb came bk... appeared at my door steps asking for a patch which I did not reject... she came back with injuries... And it really breaks my heart to see her crying beside me (although its crying for another person) ......

But i really am not sure if she loves me anymore.. it seems like she jus give me her shell but her heart still stay wif sum1 else....

Baby became much more egocentric compare to the past... I thought i could handle her but facts prove that i cant... Tears still fills my eyes when i think of it... Baby says that tis is wat she is (meaning: tk it or leave it), haha..but it told her that, look, all your relationship fails becos you fails in your character... if tis continues wif her, I dont know tis after expire realationship can hold out for how long.. My patience is running out, but i dont wish to fail again..

I wish ......

You would LOVe Me : "Like B4"

You would Pamper Me: "Like you used to do it"....

You would LooK at Me: "as Important as it used to BE"....

You would Be able To: "Spend more time wif me"..

You would be able to : "think Of me more"...

You would be able to : " be much more happier than now"....

You could behave more like a GF! Cause you are not alone or single....

And i am not fed on glass since young so nor am I transparent...

I KNOW......

She is better than me in alot of prospect...

She is prettier

she had a nicer smile

she got a better figure

she is better at hse chores

she got lots of patients

she's at least a diploma holder

I dont know her well, tis is all i know but at least i know you are happier wif her.. WO REN SHU..... at least i know you dun miss me as much when we broke off a year ago...

I FEEL SO CHEAP AND CHEATED.... BABY.... THOSE WORDS YOU SAY THOSE NIGHTs STILL PIERCE THROUGH MY HEART LIKE A KNIFE... MAYBE WE SHLD CONSIDER TO SEPERATE ROOM... I think i have already done my part n my best, I dont feel gulity on my side... but do you, well i believe you dont... becos you are ego....

I am a expire gf who no need to be pamper?

cause baby knows that I will stay no matter wat?

well, baby you are wrong... there is no forever love...

love while you can,

love while you are still alive...

if your ideas are still not waking up,

you will miss out again...

PLAY...

Being able to step into PLAY again...

Tis kind of feelings cant be describe..

it feels so family and flirt teenssss at the same time..

Why do I say that??? haha.. I saw so many teens out dere flirting..

Well, I think I kind of out-dated liao lo... haha...

Pple of my age cant really be seen..

But tt night was cool wif free brownies, cake, and some dessert..

there was a few booth dere giving away freebies, Y? The ans is they are trying to advertise for there co lo... But to be frank.... the butches at the booth looks more delicious than the ones at the dance floor.. haha... one of them are really coool... maybe there are traces of their career mind.. so these guys attracts me... wooo.. but i already got Hubby.. so well.. stop thinking... yup.. i have no rights la... hee.. Clear my mind...

I LOVE YOU BABY DARLING!!!!

Looks Yummy... well... Sumtings nt Yummy dere...

Looks Yummy??? Yeah of course.... we had fun eating these waffles, Baked rice, japanese pizza and Tomato rice.... We really enjoyed... Justin shu shu, Xiao li mei mei me and my baby was together.... OUT OF GOODWILL, i told my baBy to sit down and helped her buy her food... I know she looked distracted... and i guess she is thinking of some memories that dun belong to us... well, we are at SUKODU restaurant>>>> then happily we went home... When we reached home... my Baby again play com.. i used to love my com but i started to hate it when baby keep acc the com instead of me.. it really dun feel good waiting for sum1 at ur own com... Aft a few hours.... I went to bed alone... Baby's hp low batt n it rings.. i took her phone.... GOD BleSS ME!!! I saw her msges and call contacts.... she called her ex while I was Buying Food for her thinking that she could be tired aft a long day... She made me jump out of bed again.. and Saw her fighting with my com again... i was so angry but i manage to control my anger... I took a Cigg and smoke.... she came over and hug me..... tis leads to my broke down... i hug her and cried ..... Seriously i was heart-broken... i wasn't anger though.. jus feel cheated!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am confused, wat shld i do???

miss you guys....

I miss the good old days going out fields wif Xcel guys.. All the fun n laughter jus poke me everydae... Everytime when i see JTang or xueli blogs.. those photos tt you all secretly or forcely took wans jus let me hold on a few seconds to look at it and thinks where n wat happens.... ho ho ho....